All we can do is love you

“All you need is love, love;

Love is all you need.”

The Beatles

When you learn your child has a chromosomal abnormality you learn to accept the fact that there is nothing you or the medical community can do to correct it. There are no surgeries to fix Eva’s smooth brain. There are no therapies that will teach her how to swallow, or walk or talk. It is literally written into her genetic makeup. She is who she is and there’s no changing that. No miracles will be taking place with our little girl. We aren’t going to magically discover at birth that the doctors were wrong. The abnormalities on the ultrasounds and MRI match the amniocentesis results of Miller Dieker Syndrome. As parents we want to do the best for our children, but when there’s nothing you can do then how do you know you’re doing your best? It’s a very helpless, hopeless feeling.

I realize she’s not here yet, and we don’t know what our new life will look like if Eva comes home with us. It’s been over a month since we got the big news and it’s taken me this long to realize the ONLY thing we can do for Eva is love her. That is it. It really is that simple. We can plan and prepare. I can have preemie clothes in the bag, a pediatric neurologist lined up, the doula clued into our birth plan. But at the heart of it all is LOVE. We have to show her fierce love as we hold her tiny body, stare into her eyes, and make decisions on how best to provide her comfort. Love will carry us through if that’s where we put our focus. Love, love, love—that’s all we can do you for our precious girl. As your mother, I vow to deeply, unconditionally, and eternally love you to the fullest during your time on this Earth. That’s all I’ve got sweet Eva, but I’ve got a lot of it.

Originally posted on  September 22, 2017 at: Carrying Eva

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