FEAR | Day 19 | May we all heal

I feared many things during our time with Eva, mostly that our child would die. And she did. That was a fear I was certain would come true.

Eva has taught me I have nothing to fear, as everything is divinely timed and guided. It’s actually a freeing feeling for a control freak. Once you’ve held your dead child, what else is left to fear?

It’s been a rough week since Mother’s Day, and immediately after recognizing half-a-year without Eva. When I get down I fear that I won’t feel joy again. While I was feeling blue on my walk today, these blue damselflies swarmed the path and lifted me up. It almost felt as if they were little angel spirits coming to say hello and offering cheer. Instantly I remembered how grateful I am for all of the beauty that surrounds me. Joy was restored, and I floated on down the trail right along with the magical damselflies.

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