Max and I were playing a game in the car with questions like: “Would you rather go to Disneyland or Hawaii?” (I was surprised he chose Hawaii since he’s never been to Disneyland) And then Max asked me, “Would you rather have a sibling or not have a sibling?” My smile froze. How do I answer that? Was this really meant to be a question for himself?
“Well, since I have two brothers, how would you answer that question?”
“I’d rather have a sibling.”
“I know you would, baby.”
The next day we were chilling in the living room, and a toddler came on the screen. I told Max, “You know, if all went like we thought it would you would have a sister trying to learn how to walk right now. I’m sorry you don’t have your sister.”
Max sits up on the couch, looks at me matter-of-factly and says in the purest way: “But, I do have a sister. She’s a blessing because she’s always looking out for me.”
I wondered if he really believes this or is just repeating what I tell him, so I ask, “Is this what you truly believe?”
He looks at me with all seriousness: “Her spirit is always near. I believe that.”
Max DOES have a sibling. Little glimmers of sadness and joy all wrapped together. He knows. He believes. He trusts. His sister is always near, even if he can’t see her.
I still keep hope he will have a living sibling someday. But if he doesn’t, he will always have a sibling no matter what. There’s no doubt about that. What a beautiful bond they share—one on earth and one in the sky.