What I would tell a recent loss mom

I’m really sorry we have to know each other this way. Welcome to the loss moms club—we’re the most supportive bunch you’ll ever meet. A great question was posed to me, what would you tell a mother who recently lost her baby?

1. Do what feels good and fills you up, even if it seems indulgent. {I’ve been to @olympusdayspa over a dozen times since Eva’s death, and I don’t feel guilty.}

2. It’s okay to say no to whatever doesn’t feel good.

3. Remember, your partner is grieving too, it comes out differently.

4. You are not going crazy, your child died. It is the most significant loss because it’s unexpected and out of order.

5. Gotta eat well—but don’t be ashamed to enjoy comfort food.

6. No judgement! Of you and your healing process. Be gentle and go with the flow of feelings.

7. Find a good grief counselor or support group early. {I wish I did.}

8. Big projects can be put on hold. It won’t always feel so fresh, you’ll know when the time is right to take on more.

9. Walk in nature and find the space to be still—this is when connection happens with your child. They are always near, and love you so much. Take comfort in that.

10. One day at a time, keeping your main goal as working to heal.

11. Accept help.

12. Take as much time as you can before returning to work.

13. Grief comes in waves, some describe a spiral, but you will have highs and lows. This is our new life after losing our precious gift. It’s true, grief resides where love remains.

This list is incomplete because you are your own person, and how each of us grieve is different. Now I would like to hear from others in the #lossmomcommunity: Tips for a new loss mama? ✨💔✨